Vision Impaired
Set: The Sun Deck of the cruise ship, 'Adelphi'.
Synopsis: Miriam is a woman on a mission; to see her son, Stewart, happily married with children. But Stewart has other ideas. When he makes a surprise declaration on
holiday, she fears her dreams are in danger of hitting the rocks. With the arrival of a famous actress and a marriage falling apart, life aboard the 'Adelphi' is about to become
much more complicated...
Running time: Around 95 minutes (Caution! This is very dependent on your production.)
Notes: 'Like my 'Happy Campers', 'Port Out, Starboard Home!' is a comedy with just a hint of darkness at its heart. Comedy plays, I believe, always work best when populated
by dysfunctional characters trapped together and Brian and Jackie are two such creations. Following her 'Shirley Valentine' moment, however, Jackie ultimately finds the way
out she was looking for...
The heart of the play, though, belongs to Miriam and Stewart and his struggles to appease his mum while being true to his own self. Whilst 'Port Out, Starboard Home!' is
resolutely a comedy, I was determined not to shy away from dealing with the subtle complexities of marriage and human relationships as I wrote it.'
Published: 2009
First Produced: Huntingdon Drama Club, UK, 2010
Latest Production: Dandaragan Repertory Club, Australia, 2011
SAMPLE SCENE
Miriam: Excuse me, Miss Thompson?
Amanda: (Peering over her sunglasses) Yes.
Miriam: Can I just say - I think it was the best thing you ever did.
Amanda: Well, I would say thank you if I knew what you were talking about.
Miriam: Leaving that footballer. I've just seen him cavorting with that model on page twenty four.
Amanda: Oh, I see. Well, thank you. Foolishly, I thought you might have seen some of my work.
Stewart: (Walking over) I have. I saw you in 'My Fair Lady'. You were great.
Miriam: She wasn't in 'My Fair Lady'.
Stewart: Yes, she was.
Miriam: No, she wasn't. You're thinking of the pretty one.
Amanda: I was in 'My Fair Lady'. And, at the risk of repeating myself, thank you.
Synopsis: Miriam is a woman on a mission; to see her son, Stewart, happily married with children. But Stewart has other ideas. When he makes a surprise declaration on
holiday, she fears her dreams are in danger of hitting the rocks. With the arrival of a famous actress and a marriage falling apart, life aboard the 'Adelphi' is about to become
much more complicated...
Running time: Around 95 minutes (Caution! This is very dependent on your production.)
Notes: 'Like my 'Happy Campers', 'Port Out, Starboard Home!' is a comedy with just a hint of darkness at its heart. Comedy plays, I believe, always work best when populated
by dysfunctional characters trapped together and Brian and Jackie are two such creations. Following her 'Shirley Valentine' moment, however, Jackie ultimately finds the way
out she was looking for...
The heart of the play, though, belongs to Miriam and Stewart and his struggles to appease his mum while being true to his own self. Whilst 'Port Out, Starboard Home!' is
resolutely a comedy, I was determined not to shy away from dealing with the subtle complexities of marriage and human relationships as I wrote it.'
Published: 2009
First Produced: Huntingdon Drama Club, UK, 2010
Latest Production: Dandaragan Repertory Club, Australia, 2011
SAMPLE SCENE
Miriam: Excuse me, Miss Thompson?
Amanda: (Peering over her sunglasses) Yes.
Miriam: Can I just say - I think it was the best thing you ever did.
Amanda: Well, I would say thank you if I knew what you were talking about.
Miriam: Leaving that footballer. I've just seen him cavorting with that model on page twenty four.
Amanda: Oh, I see. Well, thank you. Foolishly, I thought you might have seen some of my work.
Stewart: (Walking over) I have. I saw you in 'My Fair Lady'. You were great.
Miriam: She wasn't in 'My Fair Lady'.
Stewart: Yes, she was.
Miriam: No, she wasn't. You're thinking of the pretty one.
Amanda: I was in 'My Fair Lady'. And, at the risk of repeating myself, thank you.
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PORT OUT, STARBOARD HOME! (Click the title to read the whole script online at Lazy Bee Scripts)
'Feel-good comedy at its best' Huntingdon Drama Club (NODA review here)
'A voyage full of laughs and tears' Dandaragan Repertory Club (press review here)
Cast: 4m, 3f
STEWART, 30s. Miriam's long-suffering son.
WAYNE, 30s. Entertainments officer aboard the 'Adelphi'.
BRIAN, 40s/50s. Jackie's husband, a man of rather old-fashioned opinions.
ALEXANDRO, 20s or 30s. Barman, waiter and something of a Greek lothario (Greek accent required!).
MIRIAM, 50s/60s. Stewart's mum. On a mission to marry him off.
JACKIE, 40s/50s. Brian's hypochondriac wife.
AMANDA, 30s. Famous tv actress just coming through a messy divorce.
'Feel-good comedy at its best' Huntingdon Drama Club (NODA review here)
'A voyage full of laughs and tears' Dandaragan Repertory Club (press review here)
Cast: 4m, 3f
STEWART, 30s. Miriam's long-suffering son.
WAYNE, 30s. Entertainments officer aboard the 'Adelphi'.
BRIAN, 40s/50s. Jackie's husband, a man of rather old-fashioned opinions.
ALEXANDRO, 20s or 30s. Barman, waiter and something of a Greek lothario (Greek accent required!).
MIRIAM, 50s/60s. Stewart's mum. On a mission to marry him off.
JACKIE, 40s/50s. Brian's hypochondriac wife.
AMANDA, 30s. Famous tv actress just coming through a messy divorce.
Richard James / Actor & Playwright
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